Friday, 18 March 2011

BLACK SWAN - I am Winona Ryder

Just a few days ago, during a ballet class, I realised my shoulders were covered in scratches. Not recalling a catfight nor a night of aggressive sex I started wondering whether I was living the Black Swan Syndrome. I immediately started wondering whether I was turning into the black swan itself or becoming Natalie Portman in the role of the Black swan. Delirious thoughts followed.

I hated Black Swan. I think I have expressed this opinion since the first day I saw it. I won't go through details cause I will risk to bore myself.

But just a few days ago I had an accident on the job (slipped and broke my foot) and had to be hospitalised and go through surgery for a new shiny stepping tool.

This of course meant accepting to be replaced in the show my company is representing now with incredible success in one of Barcelona's finest theatres.

While I cheer for my colleagues' triumph, the heavy medications (high doses of morphine) I have been taking to relieve the pain of the broken bone have made me quite sensitive about having to be stuck on a bed while others are enjoying applauses.

So it is only thanks to tranquillizers that I finally understand that I have no chance of being Natalie if not Miss Winona Ryder herself. 

I am diagnosed with the WR Syndrome, the one that drives you nuts cause you can't do tombé-pas-de-bourrée-pirouette and makes you jealous of your innocent replacement. As Winona I am in a hospital and cannot leave the bed (doctors said I can't move). I haven't stabbed myself in the face yet but as I said I am already full of scratches. I am jealous, sad and angry.

So my question is: is it time to retire, suicide or have I been watching too many movies?

1 comment:

  1. I think that is a normal human reaction, which can be easened by finding a hobby next to dance (Yoga might be a start, but trying to be "the best stamp collector of Catalunya" works the same way).

    And if you're stuck being jealous, there is one thing your colleagues do not have, and most likely never will: Me flying in just for you with a ton of vla! :)